About me and shit
Look at this naïve fool. Look at the expression on his “I-think-I’m-so-cool” face. At seventeen, he sincerely believed that he was actually going to do something with his life … that he was special, different. Nothing was going to stop him from making the world a better place.
He would not become a victim of his own class struggle (internally, externally, materially, intellectually, and perhaps even spiritually).
He would not become a victim of the small town prejudices that he first faced when stepping foot onto that dangerous world view-forming playground of the early ’80s—that created in him a sense of justice, a decent character, and an intense and combative personality that is wholly evident while in his native land among the seemingly willing economic and religious prisoners of small town life, whose misery is only worsened by their worship of the asshole “invisible hand” of an economic system that hates and devours them.
Ironically, those aforementioned and somewhat positive traits seem to disappear when he travels to the lands of the more affluent and educated. There, he blends into the background and says nothing, but he definitely knows that he should say something, anything. He truly wants to, but in these situations, he is a coward and realizes that it won’t change anything. His lone voice would not prevent the affluent and educated to grow even more rich and powerful. (You can never talk about anything relating to money with people that actually have money. They tend to get angry at any suggestions implying that they may not deserve their silly, comfortable, and decadent lives.)
Life will—unfortunately—go on. Nothing changes in his world because his arrogance, his secular righteousness, and his extreme cowardice are equally distributed and have constantly canceled themselves out at every important juncture of his life. He is impotent and useless in every way.
Even after all these years, he is still a naïve fool, the scared little boy on the playground of a shitty existence. His name is Shane Davis.
Davis is everything Ann Coulter hates: progressive, not religious, and poor. In fact, at 34, his financial situation is so terrible that he still lives with his mother. When asked if he feels embarrassed by this living arrangement, he said, “Listen, I could move out and have some sort of pride about making it on my own, but I’m not fucking stupid. I learned really young that life is total shit and concepts like pride are just archaic, subtle, and utterly stupid forms of control. Fuck it! I don’t care what other people think. I mean, a lot of people in this country watch shitty reality shows and are actually entertained by them. Why in the fuck should I care what they think? Also, with the jobs that I have available to me (fast food, retail, call center, etc.) and with the amount of debt that I have from the whole “college” thing, if I were living on my own, I would be in total fucking poverty. Life without some sort of extra income in order to live comfortably and actually try to enjoy anything would be absolutely unbearable. Why would I make the already difficult burden of existence even more difficult? Seriously, I hate myself, but not that much.
Davis was born in Portsmouth, Ohio on April 23, 1977. Celebrities also born on April 23 include Joyce DeWitt, Valerie Bertinelli, and Hervé Villechaize. All three of them have accomplished more in one day than what he will accomplish during his entire lifetime. He is the product of working-class parents. His father (deceased) was a water plant operator. His mother was a video store clerk. So, really, no matter how nurturing and wonderful his parents were, there wasn’t much hope for him to do much of anything. Upward social mobility in America is a bitch! He also has a brother, but they hardly ever speak. They don’t have much in common.
In his youth, Davis was told that education was the key to having a good life. He excelled in school, until high school (which he thought and still thinks was a total waste of time). However, while in college, he redeemed himself, taking academia somewhat seriously (he now thinks of college as not only a waste of time, but also money—at least high school was just a waste of time). After earning several degrees, he has come to the conclusion that everything that was told to him in his youth was a total lie and now believes the opposite is true: not knowing anything, being completely dumb, having no passions or interests, and never questioning reality or authority will get you anywhere (of course, it also really helps to be born into wealth, be a total asshole and climb the corporate ladder, and go into banking or other kinds of evil shit). Recently, he had this to say about education in America, “I know people that got knocked up in high school and don’t even accept evolution as fact that are doing way fucking better than me. That says it all, doesn’t it?”
Is he fucked? Yes. Are we all fucked? Probably. Does any of this matter? Absolutely not.